


Similitude Redux

by flyingpiranhas



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:20:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingpiranhas/pseuds/flyingpiranhas
Summary: A reimagining of the season 3 episode "Similitude" where Sim goes to Malcolm's quarters instead of T'Pol's.
Relationships: Malcolm Reed/Charles "Trip" Tucker III
Comments: 19
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started Enterprise a month ago and of course loved it enough that I had to write a fic for it. I'll probably write a second chapter dealing with the aftermath of Trip waking up, but I wanted to at least post this in case I don't. No beta, this might be a bit rough and require cleanup, and this is my first attempt at writing these guys. Kudos and comments are loved and motivate me to write more.

Malcolm is finishing some reports and planning a shower when his door chimes. He mentally holds back a groan. Tomorrow he is scheduled to fly the shuttle to tow _Enterprise_ out of the anomaly, and he was looking forward to good night of rest first. A difficult to place emotion rolls through him when he thinks of Sim proposing the plan to him in the mess. Seeing the child had been strange but seeing the Trip-but-not-Trip clone was nearly enough to send his head spinning. With the constant threats the Enterprise faced, it was not the first time Malcolm had been worried or seen Trip hurt. But when the severity had been relayed to him, his heart felt like it might stop.

He knows the commander has been having neuropressure sessions with T’Pol, and though he believes Trip when he said there is nothing going on, he also knows the intimacy of the act and the attraction the engineer feels for her. Of course he was attracted to her, she was stunning. Malcolm himself had talked to Trip about her allure. But his lustful thoughts for T’Pol have never come close to the way he feels for Trip, despite all his efforts to keep his feelings anything other than friendly. He also reluctantly has to admit part of his fawning over T’Pol to Trip was an attempt at overcompensation, like his disastrous trip to Risa with Trip. As though if he tried hard enough to be a skirt-chaser and saw Trip do the same it would get rid of his desires.

Malcolm figures Trip and T’Pol will be a couple sooner or later. They’ll make a stunning pair, and he will just have to learn to live with it. Trip had never even shown the slightest inclination toward men anyway.

If he weren’t so schooled at maintaining a neutral expression, Malcolm is sure he would not have been able to hold back his surprise when he sees Sim waiting. He does find himself slightly tongue-tied. Long enough that the blond at his doorstep has to awkwardly clear his throat. “Can I come in?” he requests.

Malcolm manages to gather his thoughts by then and remembers himself. “Yes, please do,” he says, stepping back into his quarters so there is room.

Sim looks nervous. It’s shocking how alike Trip he is, down to the exact expressions. “The Captain told me you and Travis will be piloting the shuttles. I argued I should be one of the pilots, but he wouldn’t have it,” he begins.

“I assure you, I am prepared and capable,” Malcolm argues.

Sim holds up a placating hand and shakes his head. “I’m not arguing that, Malcolm. I know better than anyone how capable you are. But it’s my plan, and I should be the one taking the risk.”

 _Trip knows better, not you,_ Malcolm thinks before immediately feeling a surge of shame. Sim does know him. He has Trip’s memories. “You’re needed on the ship,” he replies.

“You mean my brain tissue is needed on the ship.” The coldness in Sim’s voice makes Malcolm wince. He can’t blame him. What would he be feeling if he knew his whole brief existence was for the purpose of saving one man?

“ _Enterprise_ needs a chief engineer,” Malcolm replies.

Sim accepts this answer with a shrug. He moves to lean against the wall next to Malcolm’s bunk and suddenly is looking at the floor and not him. “Was there ever anything between you and Trip?” he finally murmurs.

Every time he thinks he’s done being shocked, a bigger shock comes along. Malcolm forcibly keeps his voice level when he answers. “You mean romantically? No, we’re just friends.”

Sim nods slowly and lifts his gaze to look Malcolm in the eyes. God how is he always shocked by how blue those eyes are. “I just… I think about you all the time, Malcolm. And it’s not just a crush. This is… something much more serious. And what’s really eating me up? I don’t know if these are my feelings or his.”

Malcolm takes a shaky breath. “I don’t know. I wish I did.”

“I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable. Especially not before your big mission,” he says.

“That’s quite alright. I don’t mind,” Malcolm assures him. He’s certainly not unhappy to hear this admission but hearing it while Trip is dying in sickbay and his clone is unsure who his feelings belong to makes it difficult to process. Before he can overthink it, Malcolm finds himself taking the few steps required to bring him to stand directly in front of Sim. The man’s eyes are wide as Malcolm lifts a hand to cup his cheek and eagerly meets him midway for a kiss.

Guilt threatens to overwhelm him before he manages to push the feelings down and enjoy this. This might be his only chance to experience what Trip’s lips feel like, what he tastes like. Malcolm is unsure who initiates it, but the kiss is quickly intensifying. Sim’s hands have come up to rest against his back, and Malcolm is finally finding out just what that blond hair feels like with his fingers knotted in it.

It’s Sim letting one hand drift down to caress his ass that give Malcolm the jolt he needs to pull back. He’s sure he has a flush matching the one he sees in front of him. He knows his condition below the belt is the same as that of the body he’s plastered against from the answering beginning of hardness he can feel next to his. He gently pushes against Sim’s chest to force himself backwards.

“Tr… Sim. I can’t,” he croaks.

“Because I’m not him,” Sim says, and he sounds so miserable it breaks Malcolm’s heart a little.

“No. Because I can’t be with you once only to end up losing you.” _Either of you._

Sim exhales loudly and nods. “I’ll leave you to your rest, Lieutenant. Get some sleep.” He presses a last tender kiss to Malcolm’s lips before leaving. Malcolm swears and collapses to sit on his bed with his fingers pressed against his slightly swollen lips. He wanted so badly to have a taste of his desire, that he did the most un-Reed-like thing he could imagine. Acted without thinking. He sighs and gets up. The only thing he can do now is go to bed and hope he sleeps without any dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Sim's confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand now there's smut because I can't resist. The completion of the story. Thank you to all the kind readers and commenters. You're all the best.

Malcolm is surprised by the grief he feels when he sees Sim’s body laid to rest and shot into space. Especially considering the panic he had experienced when Sim tried to run away rather than give up his life. He understands why he tried to do it though. He’s glad to have Trip alive and well again, immensely glad, but he can’t forget that it was Sim who kissed him. Not Trip. He lets himself feel gratitude for Sim’s sacrifice, and it helps the sense of loss.

He begins to pay attention to Trip with new scrutiny. He’s startled by what he notices. How Trip always hovers so close to him, just on the edge of being closer than normal for friends. He sits next to him with legs nearly touching, walks with hands nearly brushing. He laughs a little extra loudly at Malcolm’s jokes. The thing Malcolm is most surprised by is how he finds Trip’s eyes following him. With his training, Malcolm should have noticed that sooner. How did Trip become such a blind spot for him? It seems he was too busy doing all those things to Trip to notice the reciprocity.

All this leads Malcolm to consider Sim’s confession. _I don’t know if these are his feelings or mine,_ he recalls. It seems at least some of those feelings came from Trip. If he thought his feelings for Trip were difficult to handle before, they become even more cumbersome. Like Trip could become the center of his universe if Malcolm let his control slip.

The question of what now bounces around endlessly in his skull. Trip certainly seems to feel something for him. Of course, he has no way of knowing if those feelings are simple lust or the ‘more’ Sim had told him. Maybe his feelings for T’Pol are stronger.

Malcolm is absent-mindedly picking at the dinner he brought back to his quarters and tooling with some cannon upgrades he’s been considering when his door chimes. There are very few people who visit him at night, well only one really, so he issues a quick “come” while pushing aside the plate containing the last bites of his dinner.

“I thought you might be interested in some company… oh I’ve interrupted your dinner,” Trip cheerily says as he enters, a bottle of whiskey in hand.

Malcolm waves a hand. “I’m finished. Just doing a little experimenting,” he dismisses.

Trip snags two glasses, already aware of where Malcolm keeps them. He pours two generous fingers of whiskey in each glass and leans over to get a better view of the console. “Well now you gotta let me see,” he drawls. He sets one glass in front of Malcolm and takes the other with him as he sits on the edge of Malcolm’s bed.

Shop talk with Trip is an old routine that Malcolm quickly slides into. Trip listens avidly as he explains his ideas for improvement, and Malcolm thinks about how addicting the way Trip puts all his intensity into paying attention to him is. Not many people get as enthusiastic as he does about his work, and Trip is one of these rare exceptions. He even throws in the occasional suggestion.

Trip leans forward and refills the now empty glasses. “Well just don’t go reroutin’ power without asking,” he kids. Malcolm smiles into his glass as he takes a sip.

The air in the room changes suddenly as Trip clears his throat and begins to fiddle with his glass. “I gotta ask you something, Malcolm. Did anything happen between you and… and him,” he asks. The hesitation makes it clear Trip is trying to allude to Sim.

The strongest sense of déjà vu closes in on Malcolm as he thinks about a man with that same face asking a similar question. “What do you mean?” he replies.

“It’s just, it feels like you’ve been staring at me a lot lately. Giving me these looks sometimes. Like I’m a problem you’re trying to solve,” Trip says. He finishes off the last bit of his drink and watches Malcolm. “I don’t know if you two got into a fight, or if he pissed you off…”

Malcolm is not someone prone to nerves. He wouldn’t be very good at his job if he didn’t know how to control his feelings and retain his cool. Which makes the gut-wrenching panic he feels now uncomfortably unfamiliar. He curses himself for not being more careful in his observations of his friend.

“No. No fight. What’s the phrase you like so much? ‘Perfect gentleman’?” Malcolm smiles and gets a weak one in response. “We worked together to come up with a plan to get the ship to safety. As you can see, it worked.”

“So… he didn’t do anything to cause whatever it seems to be you’re thinking?” Trip pushed. He showed a measure of relief that there had been no bad blood. Not that Malcolm would have blamed Trip for his replica’s behavior.

Lying also goes against Malcolm’s typical manner, but he considers it now. Not even a real lie, he could make it more a lie of omission. In the end, he decides he can’t carry that pressure knowing that he’s covering something up from Trip. “I suppose he could be considered an influence of my behavior toward you.”

Trip furrows his eyebrows at this and waits pensively as Malcolm sorts his thoughts. “He came to my quarters. The night before Travis and I flew the shuttles. He wanted to pilot, but the Captain wouldn’t let him,” Malcolm begins.

“And? I imagine the story doesn’t stop there,” Trip prompts when he pauses.

“And then he told me he had feelings for me. That he wasn’t sure if they were his or yours,” he finishes.

A look of horror passes over Trip’s face before he drops his face into his hands. “Jesus, Malcolm,” he groans.

“Then we kissed.”

This second sentence makes Trip jerk his head back up and stare at Malcolm with saucer wide eyes. He’s surprised to see anger there “You and… him kissed?” Trip nearly shouts. Malcolm shushes him. Trip’s eyes narrow.

“Is that it? Just kissed. Nothing more?” Trip presses.

Malcolm figures he shouldn’t bring up that it was quite possibly the best kiss of his life and assigning ‘just’ to it underplays how intense it had been. “Yes, just a kiss. I swear. I can understand your anger, it was your body. I can understand if you feel violated or made uncomfortable. But I hope you can keep it from changing things between us. I value your friendship, Trip.” He hates the note of desperation that creeps into his voice at the end.

Trip stares at him hard for a few seconds. “You think I’m mad because I’m grossed out?” he asks. “God dammit, Malcolm. I’m upset because you kissed _him_ and not _me._ ”

Malcolm knew Trip felt something toward him, but the outright admission is still shocking. “I didn’t know. I thought you and T’Pol…”

“How many times do I have to say!? We’re not sleeping together,” Trip exclaims.

“I know. But I thought well, it was probably going to happen sooner or later. Besides, I thought you were straight,” Malcolm says.

Trip lets out a bark of laughter. “I thought you were! I’ve been attracted to you since we left dock,” he replies.

“So is that what it is? Attraction?” Malcolm asks. He heart clenches. He isn’t sure he can handle a casual fuck with Charles Tucker. Just that single kiss had been enough to leave him with a burning desire for more.

“You said he told you he had feelings for you. Well, if they were anything like mine, they’re a whole hell of a lot more serious than a crush,” Trip snorts.

They’re still separated by the small amount of space between Malcolm’s desk and his bed which suddenly seems like lightyears too far. He stands and breaches the gap to stand in front of Trip. He leans down to cup that strong jaw in his hands, slightly rough with day’s end stubble. “I kissed him because I thought it might be my only chance. I thought just that taste would help me ignore my feelings, but it made them stronger. I’m sorry, Trip. I never meant to hurt you,” he confesses. Trip slowly turns his head to kiss Malcolm’s palm and a flush creeps up his face at the breathtaking intimacy of the gesture.

“Darlin’,” Trip breaths. “Sometimes I wish I could, but I can’t ever seem to stay mad at you for long.”

The pet name drawled in that honey-thick accent is what pushes him over the edge. Malcolm roughly pulls Trip up from his seat into a kiss. The lips, the tongue, the hands are all the same but the knowledge that this might be more than a stolen kiss makes it feel so much more intense. He can’t hold back a groan when one of Trip’s hands slowly strokes down his back to come to rest at the small of his back. The other is tracing along Malcolm’s cheek with his thumb.

Malcolm ignores the whine of protest when he needs air and breaks the kiss to begin sucking and nipping his way along Trip’s neck. Trip’s hands fall to grip Malcolm’s ass, and he shivers with excitement at being able to enjoy the caress instead of breakaway this time. There’s still a stirring of grief when he recalls Sim, but the feeling of _his_ Trip grinding his hips forward is a powerful balm.

Before Trip’s arrival, Malcolm had changed into sweatpants and a shirt from his Academy days. It makes it easy for Trip to slip his hands under it and caress the hard planes of skin and muscle. A light scratch of fingernails down his back makes Malcolm shudder and forces a broken half whimper from him. Malcolm is usually very restrained and silent in his sexual encounters, but Trip’s intensity is overwhelming. The engineer seems able to break down his walls in this as in all things.

Trip pushes Malcolm’s shirt up and off. His kissing and movements have gained a possessive edge. Like he’s trying to chase away anyone who came before him. Malcolm is surprised by how well he is responding to it. His unwillingness to yield and connect has often been a nail in the coffins of his past relationships. He always imagined Trip soft and romantic, never so demanding. Trip is still in uniform which suddenly seems ridiculously cumbersome. Malcolm drags down the zipper and pushes at Trip. They have to separate for Trip to shuck the jumpsuit and the black shirt underneath which gives time for Malcolm to catch his breath and step out of his sweats.

Once they are both down to Starfleet blue briefs Malcolm pushes Trip down to the bed and clambers over him to sit astride the larger body. Malcom has seen Trip shirtless with torturous frequency, but the engineer’s hairy chest feels so different against him in stark contrast to Malcolm’s much smoother body. He is also struck by how much larger than him Trip is, something he is unused to in romantic partners.

They are kissing and grinding again but now with far fewer layers. Malcolm can feel the heat that rolls off Trip and the large, oh god so large, outline of his cock. Trip flips their positions with surprising strength and pulls back to survey Malcolm’s prone body with lust-bright eyes.

“I need you darlin’. Need to feel you and make you mine,” he pants. Malcolm can only nod dumbly and point to the drawer where he keeps lube. Trip fetches it and returns to his position atop him. Now he is shimmying down the bed and pulling Malcolm’s underwear down with him. The garment, slight damp with sweat and pre-cum, is discarded. Trip gives his erection a few strokes before diving down to take the length in his mouth. Malcolm throws his head back and groans deep in his chest.

Malcolm is so focused on the scorching heat working his cock that the lubricated finger stroking his asshole makes him gasp in surprise. The finger circles a few times before it pushes deep inside him. A few thrusts and then a second is joining. Trip is still sucking him, and Malcolm is nearly delirious with pleasure. He feels orgasm creeping up on him but fights it back, not ready to be spent yet. He feels the hint of a burn when a third finger fills him, but he is thankful for the pain that takes the edge off his building orgasm.

Trip gives a few final bobs of his head before he is moving back up and coating his erection with more lube. He tosses Malcolm’s legs over his shoulders before lowering himself on top of him and guiding his cock into the smaller man. Malcolm bites his lip to hold back the noises threatening to spill over as he’s slowly filled.

  
Trip gives him a deceptively chaste kiss. “None of that. Want to hear it all,” he murmurs, finally seated balls deep inside.

He can’t hold back the embarrassingly high-pitched moan as Trip begins to move. The penetration is so deep, and it has been so long since he’s been taken this way. He’s not a submissive or trusting person by nature, but for Trip he can be. It’s a novel experience. The engineer clearly needs this, and who is Malcolm to deny him.

The slow thrusts pick up speed and intensity and lingering discomfort is quickly being chased away. Trip grabs Malcolm’s hand from where it is clenched in the sheets and guides it to his cock. He leaves Malcolm to stroke himself so Trip can grip his hips to get more leverage. The angle shifts to consistently place pressure on his prostate and Malcolm’s remaining reserve shatters. He’s now panting out a mix of Trip’s names and obscenities.

“Mine. All mine,” Trip growls.

“Yes, yes, oh God don’t stop,” Malcolm assures. Somewhere in the not broken recess of his mind Malcolm is tempted to point out Trip is essentially jealous of himself. The thought is gone as soon as it comes.

“Fuck. Love you Mal, love you so much,” Trip groans. A few more pumps of his hips and he’s filling Malcolm with his cum. The heat and the confession trigger’s Malcolm’s own orgasm, and he paints his hand and their bellies with his release. It’s a full-bodied experience and takes several moments for the last aftershocks to dissipate. Trip’s ragged breathing makes him guess the engineer is experiencing something similar. They share a few more kisses before Trip withdraws to lay beside him. Malcolm is usually eager to get up and clean due to a general distaste for messiness, but Trip’s body pressed against his own makes him loathe to move.

“I… well… you know I won’t hold you to what you said. At the end. We were in the heat of the moment,” Malcolm says once the need to address the confession becomes too strong. Trip has begun tracing random patterns against his skin and he savors the light touches.

Trip pauses and lifts his head to meet Malcolm’s eyes. “I meant it. I love you, Malcolm. Think I have for longer than I care to admit,” he replies. “I know I pushed you away. After… Lizzie. But it was still there, hidden under the hurt.”

Malcolm shakes his head. “I don’t want you to feel guilty tomorrow when you regret saying it. It’s ok, really.”

“Is it really so hard to believe? I swear you’ve built your walls up so high even you have a hard time seeing over them,” Trip sighs. He presses his lips to the dark-haired man’s forehead. This is the soft Trip Malcolm had imagined. He finds himself loving Trip and all his dualities.

“Maybe,” Malcolm admits reluctantly. Trip chuckles and stands up. He vanishes into the bathroom, emerging a bit later with a wet cloth he uses to help clean Malcolm. Afterward they kiss long and slow, the heat brought down to a low simmer.

Trip looks unsure now. He retrieves his underwear and pulls them on. He questioningly reaches for his uniform before Malcolm is up and stopping him with a hand to the arm. “You can stay. If you want,” he offers. Trip absolutely beams and runs a hand down his chest.

“I love you,” the engineer whispers. Malcolm can’t help the small smile that creeps onto his face. He presses a kiss to Trip’s sloped nose, as much of an answer as he can muster currently. Trip accepts it without a hint of hurt. He understands. Trip isn’t always a patient man, but for this he can be.

Malcolm retires to the bathroom himself, and when he emerges Trip is laying on his side in bed, watching him with sleepy eyes. Malcolm dresses in just a pair of fresh briefs before climbing in alongside him. An arm comes up around his waist, and Malcolm lets sleep take him. Maybe Trip will change his mind, but maybe he won’t. If it means more of this, he supposes he’s willing to let himself open up and give it a chance.


End file.
